The King and His Kingdom Video
Welcome to PART 5 of the King and His Kingdom which we’ve entitled the Role of the Parents.
Having completed the roles of both the husband and wife, this session, we are going to take a closer look at the Godly responsibilities of Parents. Many of the principles applying to the role of the husband and wife, mentioned in the previous sessions, will apply to parents as well.
God has made and will continue to make a great nation of His people, because He has a covenant with them, promising this very thing. They are a redeemed people from every nation, who have been made into kings and priests for the sole sake of God – to reign with Him … even on earth. (Rev5: 9-10).
Mankind was created to give glory, honor, and power to God. This being their main purpose. As a result of the fall in the Garden of Eden, mankind did not give glory to God, nor did they subsequently realize their real purpose, because of their fallen state. Jesus came to restore this circumstance and we can see in 2 Cor., mankind has been redeemed to live for God’s good pleasure (2 Cor.5:14-15).
This objective of living for God is so singularly important, that both Jesus and Paul advised against marriage in the scriptures of Matt.19 and 1Cor., as it could distract the focus of establishing God’s purposes on earth. (Matt.19: 10-12; 1 Cor.7: 8, 32-33). Jesus says in fact, that there ought not to be a single relationship or possession that should take precedence over our love of Him (Luke14: 26,33).
We must bear in mind here that it was God who instituted marriage (not mankind), and that separate principles apply to married disciples. This, so that the Gospel can continue to be shared through the testimony of marriage.
Through correct training of our offspring, God’s plan of making His children into a great nation will continue to come to pass.
Husbands and wives are a team effort for God’s objectives being carried out on this earth, and ultimately in the Kingdom of Heaven, as they are co-heirs of His Kingdom. (1 Pet.3: 7; Col.3:19). But also, by virtue of their acceptance of marriage, they will be accountable to God because of their status as parents and also teachers. (James 3:1).
They will have the unique role of bringing children into the world and then raising them as Godly seed, whilst their marriage and family life will both encourage other believers and give hope (salvation) to the lost; thereby producing Godly seed in others (Mal2:15 NLT). This will ensure that God’s authority will flow through the family and be passed onto the next generation.
From the viewpoint of the Church, it is reliant on strong functional family units, to make it, as a body, effective for the Gospel. The strength of the local church is directly related to the strength of its family units.
The strength of the family unit will see God’s authority flowing out into the community, into workplaces, and eventually into the nation.
Next, we must clearly see that outside the Christian marriage and family unit, the world does NOT HAVE A GODLY MODEL, and therefore has reduced hope of finding salvation.
Today we see the result of marriages not working according to Godly principles – crime, drugs, and all types of debauchery. Parents operating outside of God’s principles will project the wrong role models for their children. Children will not experience God’s authority through their parents and therefore will not know how to pass this authority onto future generations.
To successfully raise Godly seed in our children, parents need to first have both the role of the husband and the role of the wife working according to God’s government, or their words of instruction will have no life-giving qualities. Effective communication for Jesus comes from an authoritative communicator, not an articulate one (Matt.7:29). Both parents need to be effective, authoritative communicators, with testimony in their own lives, to earn the respect of their children (Matt.7:29).
EM Bounds wrote this: – “No man can preach beyond the level of his own testimony”.
How does God see Children?
We need to see children in the important light that God sees them and as Jesus describes in Matt 18 and 19:
In our relationship with the Lord, we need to become like little children. They are the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven. When we respect little children and serve them, it is as good as doing it to Jesus (Matt.18:1-5; Matt.19: 13-15). If we reject and ill-treat them, we may as well be put to death! (Matt.18:6;10). Perfect praise comes from children (Matt.21:15-16).
Obedience produces Fruit
In Gen.18, we see God’s covenant with Abraham was put into play because he was obedient regarding the bringing up of his child, Isaac (Gen.18:18-19). Further, Abraham was an effective communicator. On the way to the sacrificial alter, Isaac hears his Father prophesying … “God will provide a lamb…”. Then he witnessed the dagger over his body. However, Isaac remained obedient because of the way he had been brought up. He heard his father prophesy life and trusted him (Gen.22: 8-11).
Positive communication follows the form of speaking words of life. Prov.18:21 warns us that either death or life flows from the tongue. The only way we can communicate life is by abiding in Jesus, so that He abides in us (Jn.15:5), in other words, our relationship with God should be real and well-grounded. When we are led by His Spirit, out of the abundance of our hearts, our mouths will speak (Jn.7:38).
Communication also involves listening. James 1 tells us we need to be better listeners than speakers (James 1:19). If Jesus was willing to minister to the need of children, so it is that as parents abide in Him, they will seek ministry opportunities when their children approach them, wanting to speak.
A child who is accustomed to communicating with a receptive parent will never struggle to communicate with his parents in later years. Just as our communication habit with God needs to be cultivated, so does our communication with our children.
Lastly, communication involves lifestyle. Whilst talking and listening is important, it is a scientific fact that the human brain only retains 7% of all that it hears, but on the other hand, retains 38% of all that it sees and hears – and that is Lifestyle.
Someone once said, ‘Zip the lip and walk the talk’. Children will be most affected by what they see in their parents’ lifestyles. Particularly up until they are able to have their own relationship with God, they see and communicate with God through their parents. Any child who has had a poor relationship with his parents will struggle to have a relationship with God. Their trust in God is founded on trusting their parents.
It must be always remembered that with regard to training children, we have strong competition from satan. He works through the very effective media of television, magazines, worldly friends, education, and worldly entertainment.
The scriptures speak much of correctly disciplining children. Discipline is never an easy thing to effect, but without it, children may not inherit the Kingdom of God (Prov.23:13-14). The reason for this is because the sinful nature inherited from Adam, causes a child to have a sinful heart (Ps.51:5). The habits of the sinful nature need to be trained to re-new the thinking. Proverbs 22 says that discipline is the way to train children (Prov.22:15). Parents need to discipline with diligence (Prov.13:24). Discipline should be effective, but not damaging (Prov. 20:30).
Society today has a negative outlook on the use of Biblical discipline, largely because, over years, the biblical methods have not been correctly adhered to, resulting in cases of abuse of children. Discipline may take many forms. Parents should seek the Lord diligently over this issue to find the correct and preferred method for each family.
Whichever method is sought, here are some points to remember:
Some ‘Do’s and ‘Don’ts’
- Don’t keep threatening verbally.
- Don’t discipline hastily or in anger.
- Don’t discipline in front of friends or in public.
- Do act after speaking twice.
- Do discipline promptly.
- Do follow through with, and complete the corrective action.
Discipline should be considered ONLY after:
a. A child has broken the rules that have been set for them—ensuring they fully understood the instruction.
b. Parents have gone the second mile with them.
If parents do not discipline their children when they break the rules they have been set, then parents undo valuable work (Matt.5:19 and 37).
In a Nutshell….
The role of the parents is to disciple their children to a place where they will hunger and thirst for God.
In a practical vein, Prov.22 says we are to ‘train up a child ..’ (Prov. 22:6). We do this first of all by communication, and secondly by discipline.
Children simply need to understand their boundaries socially and within the family unit. They will often explore for themselves how far they can go, before transgressing rules.
We should disciple children according to Godly principles – ‘permit’ what has already been ‘permitted’ in heaven and ‘forbid’ what has already been ‘forbidden’ in Heaven (Matt.18:18).
And last – but definitely not least – remember, “a family that prays together… stays together”. Parents should never stop praying for their children – ever!
OK… time to recap what we’ve shared this week:
- God’s Promise – God is making a great nation of His people, because He has made a covenant with them promising this very thing. Through correct disciplining of our offspring, God’s plan of making His children into a great nation will come to pass.
- Godly Seed – Husbands and wives are a team effort for God’s objectives being carried out on this earth. They are co-heirs of His Kingdom. Parents will be accountable to God because of their status as parents and also teachers. They will have the unique role of bringing children into the world and then raising them as Godly seed.
- Family Unit – The strength of the local church is directly related to the strength of its family units.
We must clearly see that outside the Christian marriage and family unit, the world does NOT HAVE A GODLY MODEL.
- Role Models – Parents operating outside of God’s principles will project the wrong role models for their children. Both parents need be effective, authoritative communicators, with testimony in their own lives, to earn the respect of their children (Matt.7:29).
- How does God see Children? – When we respect little children and serve them, it is as good as doing it to Jesus. If we reject and ill treat them, we may as well be put to death! Perfect praise comes from children.
- Obedience produces Fruit – God’s covenant with Abraham was fulfilled because he was obedient regarding the bringing up of his child Isaac. Further, he was an effective communicator.
- Communication – Communication follows the form of speaking words of life. The only way we can communicate life is by abiding in Jesus, so that He abides in us (Jn.15:5). Communication also involves listening. Out of their relationship with the Lord, parents will seek ministry opportunities when their children approach them wanting to speak. Communication involves lifestyle.
- Parental Examples – Children will be most affected by what they see in their parents’ lifestyle. Any child who has had a poor relationship with his parents will struggle to have a relationship with God. Remember that parents face competition from Satan through the very effective media of television, magazines, worldly friends, education and worldly entertainment.
- Discipline – Discipline may take many forms. Parents should seek the Lord diligently over this issue to find the correct and preferred method for each family. Remember the list of ‘Do’s’ and ‘don’ts’ mentioned earlier.
- In a Nutshell…. The role of the parents is to disciple their children to a place where they will hunger and thirst for God, done firstly by communication, and secondly by discipline. Children simply need to understand their boundaries socially and within the family unit.
Please join me soon for PART 6, where we will explore some principles of the Kingdom of God for working believers in the business world. Be blessed during this coming week – I look forward to being with you soon.
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